#92: Where ambition goes wrong
#AmbitiousBalance #StoicWisdom #CommunicationBoundaries #ResilientSuccess
👋 Welcome to Pursuit, where we explore the art of living well. My name is Amir, and each week, I go over 10 hours of content about personal growth and mental well-being, bringing you four insights and thought-provoking perspectives from leading thinkers. I hope to have a tiny impact on your life and inspire you with the tools to lead a more fulfilling life. Join us on this journey of continuous improvement and discovery.

This week’s discovery:
⛰️ Where ambition goes wrong
🗿 A dose of stoicism
🏓 Staying on your side of the net
🧗🏼 Resilience and high expectations
If you’re interested in listening to this week’s newsletter, you can follow Pursuit’s podcast on Spotify or other popular podcast platforms. Here’s this week’s episode:
⛰️ Where ambition goes wrong
Are you an ambitious person? Have you paused to ponder deeply on what ambition means to you? Can we ever remove the desire for more? I don't know if I have good answers for them, but they are worth thinking about. Or perhaps these snippets from the article, "The Riddle of Ambition," can get you thinking about these questions:
Ambition is a tricky thing because it’s both empowering and pointless. Empowering in the sense that it allows you to look for opportunities that actualize your potential, but pointless in the sense that it prevents you being okay with what is. Ambition helps set your future self up for a better life, but comes at the expense of enjoying that life today. This is what Schopenhauer meant when he said that one of the defining characteristics of humanity is our tendency to restlessly strive.
What if your ambition is to be okay with what is? Can you still call that ambition, or is it something else entirely? If you want a certain state to persist, you will no longer have an ambition to accumulate, but rather an ambition to preserve. Being perfectly content with your current state means that you’ll desire what you have now, and wherever there is desire, there is ambition. Ambition is critical to the development of a healthy mind. Not only because it allows you to know who you truly are, but it also acts as a gateway to humility. Since ambition is about the putting the bar ahead of you, you’ll understand your shortcomings in a visceral way. This will allow you to keep arrogance at arms’ length, knowing damn well that your flaws are ever-present throughout the trek.
But where ambition goes wrong, however, is when we thirst for the byproducts of that ambition. When the promotion becomes more important than the work, when the money is more desirable than the challenge, and so on. This is when you’ve commoditized your ambition, rather than using it as a gateway to knowing yourself. And when you’ve swung too far to the rewards that exist outside of you, then it’s a good time to reevaluate what it means to be ambitious even when no one is looking.
🗿 A dose of stoicism
You may have heard about Stoic philosophy before. I first became interested in its principles by reading one of my favorite books, "The Obstacle is the Way." In this article, "Wisdom From Marcus Aurelius," you can gain a good understanding of the principles of the pioneers of this way of thinking about life. Here are some of my favorites:
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” — The majority of our suffering is caused not by events but by our interpretations of them.
“Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions.” — You live wherever your attention is, and become whatever you most focus on, so steer your curiosity toward your desired fate.
We love ourselves above all others, yet we put more stock in other people’s opinions of us than in our own.” — No one is paying as much attention to you as you are. Everyone is too busy worrying how they appear to others to worry how you appear to them.
🏓 Staying on your side of the net
I really love the metaphor of "staying on your side of the net" when it comes to navigating emotionally difficult conversations. I learned this from Carole Robin's book, which you can read about in my previous post. I try to be mindful of this approach when I'm going through difficult conversations with people around me. Here’s the description of this tactic in Carole’s words:
It's vital to recognize that in any interaction, there exist three realities: your intent, your behavior, and the impact on the other person. Often, we only have access to the first two and make assumptions about the third, which leads to communication breakdowns. The key is to stay on your side of the metaphorical 'net' that separates intent from behavior. When giving feedback, avoid attributing motives or feelings to the other person, as it can trigger defensiveness. Instead, express your feelings as a response to their behavior. Use the formula: "When you do [behavior], I feel [feeling]." This approach encourages problem-solving conversations, where both parties work towards better behaviors, rather than trying to change the other person.
🧗🏼 Resilience and high expectations
Most of you are likely aware of Nvidia's success by now. Its founder, Jensen Huang, had a talk at Stanford and he was asked: What advice would I give to improve your chances of success? and this is what he said:
One of my greatest advantages is having low expectations. Many Stanford graduates have very high expectations, and rightfully so. You've attended a prestigious school, achieved great success, and are among the top of your class. You've managed to pay for tuition and are graduating from one of the finest institutions on the planet. You've been surrounded by other high-achieving peers, so naturally, you have high expectations. However, individuals with high expectations often have low resilience, and resilience is crucial for success. I'm not sure how to teach resilience to you, other than hoping you experience some level of suffering. I was fortunate to grow up with conditions that fostered success, but also had plenty of opportunities for setbacks and suffering. To this day, I use the phrase 'pain and suffering' within our company with a sense of enthusiasm.
May we start our next week with this takeaway. 🙏🏼
📸 Love the quotes? Join me on Instagram for daily doses of inspiration, highlights from my readings, and more thought-provoking content. Follow @pursuit.community and let's continue our journey of growth and discovery together!
🎵 Discovery for your ears
You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:
🎧 If you appreciate the music I carefully select and haven't followed my Spotify playlists yet, now is the perfect time to hit that follow button and join me on this musical journey! 🎶
🌒 Pano: Danceable and electronic obscure songs
🌓 Sisy: Ethnotronica and organic house
🌑 Berghain: Dark, minimal techno and tech house
🌕 Heide: Groovy soul and disco house
🌞 Sonntag: Afterhours shit
🌎 World: From Latin jazz to Turkish psych
🌚 Super Slow: For your intimate moments
Previously on Pursuit: