#86: Shaping your future self: choice or discovery?
#UnchangingEssence #FutureSelf #AdventureMindset #CuriousHumility
👋 Welcome to Pursuit, where we explore the art of living well. My name is Amir, and each week, I go over 10 hours of content about personal growth and mental well-being, bringing you four insights and thought-provoking perspectives from leading thinkers. I hope to have a tiny impact on your life and inspire you with the tools to lead a more fulfilling life. Join us on this journey of continuous improvement and discovery.
This week’s discovery:
🧱 A constant in the chaos of change
🌵 Shaping your future self: choice or discovery?
🎳 The game of yes
🌻 Growth through humility
If you’re interested in listening to this week’s newsletter, you can follow Pursuit’s podcast on Spotify or other popular podcast platforms. Here’s this week’s episode:
🧱 A constant in the chaos of change
I've wrestled with the idea of routine lately. Not the kind that becomes habit, but the disciplined kind - like working out every day. But I've realized something: I'm more attached to the identity of being disciplined than to any specific activity. Whether it's working out or writing, the activity itself isn't as important as the discipline behind it. Even if I miss a few days, I'm still that disciplined person at my core. It's not about perfection, it's about consistency over time. As Lisa eloquently puts it:
The core of who you are will always remain, even when other parts of you change. The essence of you will stay. The subtle quirks of you will stay. The deepest energy of you won’t budge, even as you morph into new versions of yourself. It’s nice to remember not everything changes when we change, for better or for worse.
🌵 Shaping your future self: choice or discovery?
Let’s reflect on this excerpt from Benjamin Hardy together:
Your behavior in the present is largely shaped by your view of your own future. If your future is clear, exciting, and something you believe you can create, then your behavior in the present will reflect that. Your future self is not someone you discover, but someone you decide to be. One way to begin that imaginative process is through journaling. Start by asking yourself: What are one to three things I could do today to make progress toward my future self? Any action you take will likely be outside your comfort zone, since your current comfort zone is determined by your current personality. But if you push through that initial discomfort, you’ll become more psychologically flexible, and over time, grow into the person you want to be.
"Your future self is not someone you discover, but someone you decide to be" - I don't fully agree with this statement. While there's truth in actively shaping your future, you can only make decisions based on your current knowledge. As you age, you continually learn more about yourself, which is a form of discovery. There's value in pushing beyond your comfort zone to work towards your desired future self. The key is to remain flexible with your self-image and attentive to your inner compass as you gain new insights about yourself. What have you discovered about yourself recently?
🎳 The game of yes
The other day, I visited one of Berlin's most famous ice cream shops, Hokey Pokey, with my brother and his wife. As we were thinking which flavors to try, she mentioned a peculiar one they'd tried before and dared me to try it. My default response to new experiences is almost always "yes," as I value adventure and novelty above all else in life. So, I opted for this unusual flavor. Though I absolutely hated it, I'm pleased I stuck to my principle. Reading the following piece from Nix today reminded me of this story.
It’s the energy of yes and why not and let’s try it out that leads to new formative experiences, because your heart and mind are open to them. When the window of opportunity opens, you’re more inclined to jump through it without too much expectation or weight. What you risk reveals what you value.
You can’t control everything, nor should you want to. Things in your life have to continuously shift. For better or worse, things are always going to shift anyways without your blessing. The tides are pulling you from the shore even as you anchor your feet into the ground. You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play the game regardless. That’s the closest thing to a mantra I have.
🌻 Growth through humility
Last week, I stumbled upon an episode of Modern Wisdom featuring Dan Bilzerian as a guest. Initially, I viewed him as a hedonistic, wealthy asshole who had capitalized on men's unattainable desires to become a social media icon. I was tempted to skip the episode, but curiosity got the better of me. To my surprise, Bilzerian shared some intriguing insights, and I found myself resonating with some of his perspectives.
This experience reminded me about an After School video I watched recently in which they explained how people can often be misled by their own ideoligical biases, convincing themselves of what they wish to believe rather than the truth. Instead of defining oneself by reasoning, it's more beneficial to embrace a willingness to learn and humility. Admitting you're wrong can be seen as a route to growth rather than an attack. The self-questioning may lead to hesitancy, but ultimately, it fosters trust in our thoughts. Humility and curiosity are cornerstones in the pursuit of truth. Being curious humbles us by revealing how little we know, while humility kindles our curiosity, acknowledging our need to learn more.
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🎵 Discovery for your ears
You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:
🎧 If you appreciate the music I carefully select and haven't followed my Spotify playlists yet, now is the perfect time to hit that follow button and join me on this musical journey! 🎶
🌒 Pano: Danceable and electronic obscure songs
🌓 Sisy: Ethnotronica and organic house
🌑 Berghain: Dark, minimal techno and tech house
🌕 Heide: Groovy soul and disco house
🌞 Sonntag: Afterhours shit
🌎 World: From Latin jazz to Turkish psych
🌚 Super Slow: For your intimate moments
Previously on Pursuit:
You could have asked to try the unusual flavor before ordering a full scoop!