#85: Escape the endless checklist

#MindfulGrowth #EmbraceEmergence #ResparkJoy #CosmicPerspective

Aug 23, 2024

👋 Welcome to Pursuit, where we explore the art of living well. My name is Amir, and each week, I go over 10 hours of content about personal growth and mental well-being, bringing you four insights and thought-provoking perspectives from leading thinkers. I hope to have a tiny impact on your life and inspire you with the tools to lead a more fulfilling life. Join us on this journey of continuous improvement and discovery.

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This week’s discovery:

🪂 Escape the endless checklist
🐣 The tenderness of emergence
💫 Stepping away to appreciate more
🌠 Seeing with cosmic eyes

If you’re interested in listening to this week’s newsletter, you can follow Pursuit’s podcast on Spotify or other popular podcast platforms. Here’s this week’s episode:

🪂 Escape the endless checklist

There was a time when I imagined how much happier I would be if I worked at one of the top big tech companies. So far, I haven’t achieved this goal, but I found happiness by focusing on what I can do in my current job to make an impact, grow, and help others grow. Over time, I shifted my mindset from focusing on achieving specific goals to engaging in ongoing activities that give my life meaning and leave me satisfied.

In this episode of The Art of Manliness, Kieran Setiya, a professor of philosophy at MIT and the author of "Midlife: A Philosophical Guide," shares his thoughts on “How to Shift Out of the Midlife Malaise.” Here’s what stood out to me:

Picture yourself as a successful professional who has ticked off all the major life goals: a thriving career, a happy family, a beautiful home. Yet, there's an unsettling feeling of aimlessness. This sense of emptiness often comes from focusing too much on 'TELIC' activities—tasks that have a clear end point. Once these goals are achieved, the satisfaction is short-lived, pushing you to chase the next big milestone. Life starts to feel like a never-ending checklist.

The antidote to this midlife malaise lies in 'ATELIC' activities—those without a definitive finish line. Think of parenting, exercising, or reading. These activities are about the journey rather than the destination, providing ongoing satisfaction and meaning. The true worth of our actions shouldn't be tied to the end product but to the experience and meaning they bring to our lives. What ATELIC activities could you start embracing today?

🐣 The tenderness of emergence

When I read Lisa Olivera’s writing, I feel like I have permission to fail, forget, and fall short. And this makes me feel unburdened. Many of us struggle with self-compassion and push ourselves too hard to always perform, improve, and grow. But we never ask ourselves, what if we are conditioned to grow regardless, like a tree? Does a tree push itself to grow faster or become taller? Or does it just grow at the natural pace of life?

Being fully seen by others might bring rejection. They might leave. Your core fears might come true. Yet what resides within you is a depth of okayness that no one can take from you, whether or not they stay. You will keep growing this depth, this solid foundation of self-attachment that makes way for being your truest self with others regardless. And your fear won’t assure you there will be plenty of people who stay, but it’s true: there will be plenty of people who stay.
You’re allowed to make the wrong decisions, fail, mess up, start over, get in over your head, need help, need your own depth of compassion and forgiveness while you emerge. You’re allowed to emerge and realize your emergence needed to take another direction. You’re allowed to emerge and recognize what still isn’t working. Emergence doesn’t require perfection or permanence. It just requires your willingness to keep going, to keep unfurling into your most real shape.

💫 Stepping away to appreciate more

In this episode of The Next Big Idea, neuroscientist Tali Sharot discusses how habituation affects our perception of life and how disrupting familiar patterns can spark new joy.

Ever notice how the thrill of a new gadget fades after a few weeks? Emotional habituation works similarly, dulling our responses to both the bad and the good in our lives. Over time, we might stop appreciating our home, relationships, or even the simple pleasure of a stocked fridge. Economist Tiber Skitowski suggests that true pleasure comes from the incomplete and intermittent satisfaction of desires. In other words, you need to step away from things to reappreciate them when you come back. This idea of "resparking" is powerful — after a break, even mundane things can seem amazing again. Imagine taking a short trip and returning home to find everything feels fresh and joyful. This is also true in relationships. If you take a trip with your own friends, your sense of longing for your partner grows, reminding you not to take them for granted. So, what's one small break you can take this week to respark joy in your life?

🌠 Seeing with cosmic eyes

This video of Alan Watts on death will give you goosebumps. Here’s a teaser:

The ego isn't my true self. My real self includes the body's functions—blood circulating, lungs breathing, nerves firing—all happening without my conscious control, yet they are me. I breathe, walk, and think without knowing how, just like hair grows. The essence of my being lies deeper than the ego. Think of the body as an eye; it extends from the universe and its boundless energy. So, the universe is "eyeing" in the same way a tree apples or a star shines. The tree is at the heart of the apple, just as the star is to the shine. My self, known here as Alan Watts, is simply a name for this organism emerging from its environment, with the center of all seeing rooted in the Eternal universe.

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🎵 Discovery for your ears

You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:

🎧 If you appreciate the music I carefully select and haven't followed my Spotify playlists yet, now is the perfect time to hit that follow button and join me on this musical journey! 🎶

🌒 Pano: Danceable and electronic obscure songs
🌓 Sisy: Ethnotronica and organic house
🌑 Berghain: Dark, minimal techno and tech house
🌕 Heide: Groovy soul and disco house
🌞 Sonntag: Afterhours shit
🌎 World: From Latin jazz to Turkish psych
🌚 Super Slow: For your intimate moments