#79: Do literally anything
#MidlifeTransformation #AuthenticConnection #EmotionalProgress #KindnessStance
👋 Welcome to Pursuit, where we explore the art of living well. My name is Amir, and each week, I go over 10 hours of content about personal growth and mental well-being, bringing you four insights and thought-provoking perspectives from leading thinkers. I hope to have a tiny impact on your life and inspire you with the tools to lead a more fulfilling life. Join us on this journey of continuous improvement and discovery.
This week’s discovery:
💫 Midlife: a crisis or an opportunity?
💬 Creating connection through deep questions
🎬 Do literally anything
🤝🏼 Two poles of kindness
💫 Midlife: a crisis or an opportunity?
Many people think life inevitably goes downhill with age, but research shows our happiness actually increases after hitting a low around 45-50. Young folks often overestimate their future happiness, while older folks tend to underestimate it. Midlife, often seen as a crisis, can actually be a time of profound transformation. It’s a phase where we confront mortality and unfulfilled expectations, but also one where we can reflect and make conscious choices about what truly matters. By letting go of what's no longer serving us, we can undergo significant personal growth. Like a caterpillar in a chrysalis, midlife is our chance to retreat, reflect, and emerge transformed, setting the stage for greater happiness and fulfillment in the years ahead.
💬 Creating connection through deep questions
Super communicators aren't necessarily charismatic or extroverted. They deeply understand the art of conversation, enabling them to connect with almost anyone. Their secret? Asking deep questions that touch on values, beliefs, and personal experiences. These questions don't initially seem probing but encourage authentic sharing. For instance, if someone says they're a lawyer, a deep question might be, "How did you decide to go to law school?" or "What do you love about practicing law?" This opens the door for the individual to share their experiences and beliefs, fostering reciprocal authenticity. Super communicators tend to ask 10 to 20 times as many questions as the average person, half of which are deep questions. This approach allows them to match the conversation type the other person wants to have, creating a sense of understanding and connection.
🎬 Do literally anything
By doing anything, I find momentum. I find motivation! I ease the heavy feeling and find my stride. The mere act of doing pushes back the tidal wave of thoughts. The problem is primarily emotional. I feel paralyzed. The solution is primarily emotional too! Just do one thing. By doing one thing, I feel like maybe things are doable after all. And if things are doable, then maybe I can do more things! Progress leads to progress, motion to motion.
🤝🏼 Two poles of kindness
I think there are two poles of kindness: (1) Kindness to spread compassion,(2) Kindness to protect the self. The first one is what my wife and I point to when we want our daughter to be kind. It’s where we cultivate her sense of compassion toward other human beings, and attempt to raise the awareness of her actions. It’s to understand that all your actions make an impact on others, so might as well make that impact a positive one.
The second form, however, is quite different. Sometimes we use kindness as a shield, and not as a megaphone. It’s when we use it to avoid confrontation, just so we can protect ourselves from potential hurt. It’s when we put a smile on our faces to signify that everything’s okay, when what’s really needed is the harshness of a difficult conversation.
Kindness is an antidote to unneeded confrontations, but a poison for required ones. There are clear moments where you need to take a stand, either for yourself or others. Choosing kindness here is often a path toward cowardice, and will inevitably lead to regret. This is commonly distilled down to the phrase “feeling like a pushover,” and that is a terrible feeling to hold onto.
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🎵 Discovery for your ears
You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:
🎧 If you appreciate the music I carefully select and haven't followed my Spotify playlists yet, now is the perfect time to hit that follow button and join me on this musical journey! 🎶
🌒 Pano: Danceable and electronic obscure songs
🌓 Sisy: Ethnotronica and organic house
🌑 Berghain: Dark, minimal techno and tech house
🌕 Heide: Groovy soul and disco house
🌞 Sonntag: Afterhours shit
🌎 World: From Latin jazz to Turkish psych
🌚 Super Slow: For your intimate moments
Previously on Pursuit:
