#77: The layers of identity
#77: The layers of identity
#LittleVictories #Identities #Parenting #Relationships
👋 Welcome to Pursuit, where we explore the art of living well. My name is Amir, and each week, I delve into over 10 hours of content about personal growth, career development, and mental well-being, bringing you four insights and thought-provoking perspectives from leading thinkers. I hope to have a tiny impact on your life and inspire and equip you with the tools to lead a more fulfilling life. Join us on this journey of continuous improvement and discovery.
This week’s discovery:
🥇 The quiet victories
🌀 The layers of identity
🧒🏼 Reducing shame in kids
🌌 Complexity in relationships
🥇 The quiet victories
Not all progress is visible. Not all victories are celebrated. Just because others can't see the results doesn't mean you're not getting better. Just because someone is ahead of you doesn't mean you are on the wrong trajectory. Just because no one notices doesn't mean it doesn't matter. Just because there is no applause doesn't mean you didn't score.
🌀 The layers of identity
Sincerity refers to playing social roles that are largely assigned to us: farmer, husband, mother or devout follower of a particular faith. These roles, transmitted through such things as religion, gender, class, age or social standing, dictate how we dress, what we do, and how we see the world. To be sincere is to align one's identity fully with the given role. After sincerity comes authenticity, which points towards the idea that the 'true you' is what lies hidden beneath all the masks that are imposed by social roles. The authentic you is what's left when you cast the roles off and express what remains. Finally we come to identity through 'profilicity', derived from the experience of profiles of various forms on social media, dating apps, CVs and the like. Profilicity is a kind of second-order identity that emerges when we see ourselves as being seen by others. And not just any other, but a general peer, a "larger, personally unknown public.
After reading this article, I started reflecting on how my profilicity layer differs from my authenticity layer. This week, I challenge you to do the same. Observe these differences and ask yourself: How can you bring these layers closer together?
🧒🏼 Reducing shame in kids
Children often struggle in distinguishing their identity from their actions, leading to a sense of shame when they fail. For instance, a child scoring low on a test might consider themselves not smart, reflecting poorly on their self-perception. The key is to help children separate their actions from their identity, enabling them to take responsibility for their behavior without it affecting their self-worth. When faced with shame, the goal should transition from teaching a lesson to reducing the feeling of shame. This can be achieved by empathizing with the child, sharing personal anecdotes, and prioritizing connection over correction. A simple phrase like "I hate when that happens" or sharing a relatable childhood story can help de-shame the situation. This approach not only helps the child cope with shame but also strengthens the parent-child relationship.
🌌 Complexity in relationships
Complexity means holding the dualities of a person in your brain with openness, kindness, and curiosity. Complexity means appreciating the critical difference between love and attachment. Between fantasy and reality. We experience friction when we’re faced with the inherent mystery or ‘unknowability’ of another. But if you’re in the right relationships, the trek toward understanding them better feels infinitely rewarding.
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🎵 Discovery for your ears
You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:
🎧 If you appreciate the music I carefully select and haven't followed my Spotify playlists yet, now is the perfect time to hit that follow button and join me on this musical journey! 🎶
🌒 Pano: Danceable and electronic obscure songs
🌓 Sisy: Ethnotronica and organic house
🌑 Berghain: Dark, minimal techno and tech house
🌕 Heide: Groovy soul and disco house
🌞 Sonntag: Afterhours shit
🌎 World: From Latin jazz to Turkish psych
🌚 Super Slow: For your intimate moments
Previously on Pursuit:
