#55: Happy Life or a Memorable Life

#KindOrNice #CostOfEfficiency #MemorableLife #WonderMindset

Jan 26, 2024

👋 Welcome to this week's Pursuit. My name is Amir, and each week I go over 10 hours of content in pursuit of living a meaningful, fulfilling and balanced life. I'm grateful to share my findings with you and hope I can have a tiny impact on your life. Subscribe now if you haven't already!

This week, I am writing to you from the magnificent Cape Town. It is my first visit to the African continent. The landscapes in Cape Town are truly breathtaking. In the early hours of the morning, many residents climb mountains that grace the city. Living in Berlin, I had almost forgotten the feeling of being so close to majestic peaks like the ones that stand guard to the north of Tehran, my birthplace. I am certain that I will miss these rocks when I return to Berlin.

**Cape Point:** Notorious for sending many ships to the bottom of the ocean

This week’s discovery:

🫶🏼 Difference Between Nice and Kind People
💼 The Costs of Maximizing Efficiency and Optimizing Our Lives
🤷🏼‍♀️ Do You Want a Happy Life or a Memorable Life?
🌌 The Wonder Mindset
🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On
🎵 Music I'm Listening To

🫶🏼 Difference Between Nice and Kind People

Too often, the people we ask for feedback are nice but not kind. Kind people will tell you things a nice person will not. A kind person will tell you that you have spinach on your teeth. A nice person won’t because it’s uncomfortable. A kind person will tell us what holds us back, even when it’s uncomfortable. A nice person avoids giving us critical feedback because they’re worried about hurting our feelings (read more).

💼 The Costs of Maximizing Efficiency and Optimizing Our Lives

In the past, psychologist and economist Herb Simon drew a distinction between maximizing and satisficing. Maximizing involves seeking the absolute best, while satisficing means being content with what is good enough. Simon argued that while maximizing may not be logically flawed, it places excessive demands on us. Given the plethora of choices in the modern world, we could spend our entire lives searching for the finest seagulls and end up famished. Simon recognized that our cognitive resources are limited, but he suggested that we can still strive for what is good enough and appreciate unexpected improvements. Maximizers, who constantly raise their standards, tend to achieve better outcomes objectively but experience greater dissatisfaction subjectively. They leave no room for pleasant surprises. On the other hand, satisficers, who are content with meeting minimum standards, generally feel happier with their decisions. This prompts us to ponder: is it preferable to objectively perform better and subjectively feel worse, or to subjectively feel better but objectively perform worse? Ultimately, how we perceive our decisions is just as crucial as their objective quality (read more).

🤷🏼‍♀️ Do You Want a Happy Life or a Memorable Life?

I think our best evidence suggests that happiness is a sort of default state that we’re in when our needs are being met and we aren’t worried for our survival. Happiness is the baseline, and our brain conjures up unhappiness to solve issues related to our current or future thriving. If we accept that present state immersion, mindfulness, flow, whatever you want to call it is our best way to achieve happiness, then the happiest life might not be a particularly memorable one. Find a routine you could do every day that immerses you in the present and gets you into flow, using the minimum amount of pharmaceutical, technological, or other tools as possible. Then, occasionally break that routine to create peak moments that can pay you happiness dividends for the rest of your life (read more).

In my first week in Cape Town, I truly embodied the essence of this article. From adjusting to a unsafe neighborhood to dealing with unreliable internet that disrupted my work, I initially felt uneasy about the unpredictability and challenges. However, as the week went on, I started to embrace the new experiences and break free from my usual routines. The most memorable highlight was driving alone on the left side of the road for the first time. I lost count of how many times I accidentally turned on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signals.

🌌 The Wonder Mindset

The wonder mindset allows us to appreciate the world by noticing the differences around us. Slowing down and being present in the moment opens us up to the extraordinary in everyday life. Cultivating a wonder mindset involves being open, curious, and comfortable with the unknown. It's about seeking opportunities to connect with others and contribute to the world. Wonder is always there, waiting for us to quiet the noise and see it. People with a wonder mindset are present, mentally nimble, and deeply curious. They embrace the unknown and walk towards questions rather than away from them. They find wonder in music, vivid thoughts, and the exploration of new experiences. A wonder mindset is not about finding rare moments, but about the way we see the world. It allows us to recognize the extraordinary and appreciate the wonders in ordinary moments. Instead of rushing to define experiences, a wonder mindset allows us to sit with uncertainty and embrace the magic of the unknown. (read more).