#69: The High Tax of Large Surface Area
#ExpectationAnxiety #Empathy #AccessibleWorld #FocusedLiving
👋 Welcome to this week's Pursuit. My name is Amir, and each week I go over 10 hours of content in pursuit of living a meaningful and fulfilling life. I'm grateful to share my findings with you and hope I can make a small difference during your challenging times. If you're on a quest for depth in an era of superficial abundance, make sure to subscribe and join our journey.
This week’s discovery:
🔮 The Illusion of the Future
🫂 Empathy vs. Compassion
🛩️ The Hidden Costs of 'Reach’
📐 The High Tax of Large Surface Area
🧚🏼♀️ A Reel I Keep Watching
🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On
🎵 Music I'm Listening To
🔮 The Illusion of the Future
Desire breeds fear because once you have a desire, you have an expectation. And because expectations take your mind out of the present, you cannot be at peace. This is the conundrum we all face, yet all too often, we simply accept that this is the condition we must operate on. After all, if you don’t plan for the future or contemplate it in any serious way, how can you ensure that you’ll be okay when that future ultimately arrives? While this is a valid concern, here’s the truth: The future is a construct of our imaginations, and nothing more than that. Fear creeps in when you refuse to acknowledge this fact, and instead attempt to control the future. It’s when you can’t accept uncertainty, so you do everything in your power to build up a net of expectations that you hope to actualize. While this may be comforting in the moment, the reality is that this is an anxiety disorder waiting to erupt. That’s because the more expectations you develop, the more you can never inhabit any given moment, which is all there ever is. Part of being present is being okay with what is. But the other part is being conscious of what makes you afraid, and understanding that when the doors to the past and future are closed, fear has no place to wander within the halls of your mind.
🫂 Empathy vs. Compassion
Although they’re often used interchangeably, empathy and compassion aren’t the same. Empathy absorbs others’ emotions as your own: “I’m hurting for you.” Compassion focuses your action on their emotions: “I see that you’re hurting, and I’m here for you.”
🛩️ The Hidden Costs of 'Reach’
In the modern quest for the 'good life', our focus has shifted from divine ordination to a concept of 'reach'. This encompasses our ability to extend our influence and the way we optimize ourselves to engage with the world. It's not just about success, money, or social media presence. The allure of 'reach' lies in the perceived ability to make the world accessible, to make it 'haveable'. If you have enough money, you can hop on a plane and be in Tokyo in a matter of hours. But this concept of 'reach', while tempting, can be a double-edged sword. It promises to bring the world alive, yet it may ultimately deaden it. The relentless pursuit of 'reach' can have unintended consequences, it can backfire, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and burnt out.
📐 The High Tax of Large Surface Area
The concept of 'surface area' extends beyond geometry, permeating our life and well-being. It's the breadth of responsibilities, relationships, and assets you juggle. The larger your surface area, the more energy you expend maintaining it. More houses, friends, money - they all increase your surface area, leading to hiring assistants or property managers to cope. But these additions don't solve the issue, they merely mask it by adding another layer of responsibility. As your surface area grows, so does your mental and physical burden. Many of us are overwhelmed, feeling perpetually behind, craving focus rather than more time. We may unknowingly expand our surface area due to competition or societal expectations, which can cause unhappiness. However, it's observed that genuinely content people usually have a smaller surface area. They have fewer, but deeper, friendships and focus on a couple of tasks rather than many. For a fulfilling life, keep your surface area small. It might seem like a lot of work initially, but it's less taxing than managing a large surface area.
🧚🏼♀️ A Reel I Keep Watching
Warning: This is a controversial topic, and I'm merely expressing my opinion. I've been intrigued by how new-age healers in Berlin promote "spirituality" as if it's a currency used in conscious healing ceremonies. They add "conscious" to any term to make it sound spiritual. Sadly, these trends exploit the vulnerabilities of broken modern societies, leading to people developing a transitory and hollow sense of belonging.
While I don't believe these communities are harmful by nature (although most are established to profit and label themselves as conscious entrepreneurs), I think the path to healing begins with introspection. Sitting alone in a room, reflecting on your life, curiosities, traumas, and dreams. This involves writing down these thoughts and revisiting them repeatedly. A one-week ayahuasca ceremony is not a quick fix. It's a lifestyle commitment that involves continuously reevaluating your mind and rediscovering yourself.
Interestingly, all of these thoughts were triggered by a funny reel that I watched this week, which hilariously depicts new-age healers in Berlin.
🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On
Allow friendships to come and go. Don’t cling onto friendships because they are old. Cling on to them because they bring you joy and comfort and laughter.
🎵 Music I'm Listening To
You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:
🎧 If you appreciate the music I carefully select and haven't followed my Spotify playlists yet, now is the perfect time to hit that follow button and join me on this musical journey! 🎶
🌒 Pano: Danceable and electronic obscure songs
🌓 Sisy: Ethnotronica and organic house
🌑 Berghain: Dark, minimal techno and tech house
🌕 Heide: Groovy soul and disco house
🌞 Sonntag: Afterhours shit
🌎 World: From Latin jazz to Turkish psych
🌚 Super Slow: For your intimate moments
Previously on Pursuit:
Speaking about healers, I just came back from Thailand, and the whole topic in Koh Pha-ngan is quite crazy. Healers communities all over the island, offering all sorts of healing experiences (healing through touch, through dancing, through dancing in the woods, through ecstatic dance, through knotting…). It was quite funny to see all the advertisements tbh… I could send you a picture I took because it was really shocking! There’s a whole market out there!