👋 Welcome to this week's Pursuit. My name is Amir, and each week I go over 10 hours of content in pursuit of living a meaningful, fulfilling and balanced life. I'm grateful to share my findings with you and hope I can have a tiny impact on your life. Subscribe now if you haven't already!
This week’s discovery:
💞 Compassion Is the Greatest Virtue
😠 Stop Running Away from Anger
🔒 The Difference Between Open-Minded and Closed-Minded People
🏃🏼 The Disciplined Identity
🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On
🎵 Music I'm Listening To
💞 Compassion Is the Greatest Virtue
Compassion is the ability to truly listen. However, listening is not as easy as it seems. Often, our minds wander and we focus on our own thoughts rather than being fully present. Real listening is when you synchronize your mind with that of the other. At its best, the boundary between “you” and the “other” completely dissolves, and you feel unified during this period of time. To be compassionate is to take active participation in another’s life, and to commit to that wholeheartedly.
This is where we now arrive at the art of reframing. The practice of reframing can be seen at various levels. At the level of the individual, we generally reframe situations to make life a more positive experience. We take events and make the choice to view them through various lenses to cultivate contentment.The higher level is where you could reframe your entire identity to that of the other, and to see the world through their lens. Some refer to this as empathy, but I’d argue that this is compassion. Empathy is to feel what another person may feel, but compassion is to do what the other person needs help doing.
😠 Stop Running Away from Anger
Anger is the deepest form of compassion, for another, for the world, for the self, for a life, for the body, for a family and for all our ideals, all vulnerable and all, possibly about to be hurt. Stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction, anger is the purest form of care, the internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for.” If I get angry at that “we need to talk” email, it might be a message that I care about respectful and compassionate communication, something that I didn’t receive. Although I can take the anger at face value and make requests of others to behave differently, I can also use it to learn about my own values and orienting principles in life. But if I avoid or push the anger away, I may miss those insights.
🔒 The Difference Between Open-Minded and Closed-Minded People
Closed-minded people don’t want their ideas challenged. They are typically frustrated that they can’t get the other person to agree with them instead of curious as to why the other person disagrees. Open-minded people are more curious about why there is disagreement. They understand that there is always the possibility that they might be wrong and that it’s worth the little bit of time it takes to consider the other person’s views.
Closed-minded people are more likely to make statements than ask questions. Closed-minded people say things like “I could be wrong … but here’s my opinion.” This is a classic cue I hear all the time. It’s often a perfunctory gesture that allows people to hold their own opinion while convincing themselves that they are being open-minded. If your statement starts with “I could be wrong”…, you should probably follow it with a question and not an assertion.
Closed-minded people block others from speaking. Open-minded people are always more interested in listening than in speaking. Closed-minded people have trouble holding two thoughts simultaneously in their minds. Open-minded people can take in the thoughts of others without losing their ability to think well—they can hold two or more conflicting concepts in their mind and go back and forth between them to assess their relative merits. Closed-minded people lack a deep sense of humility. Open-minded people approach everything with a deep-seated fear that they may be wrong.
🏃🏼 The Disciplined Identity
Discipline is not just a decision or attribute that can be turned on or off. It's an identity, a deep-rooted feeling about who you are. To truly develop this identity, focus on completing tasks that are manageable and within your reach. Block out specific time slots in your calendar for these activities and stick to them. By consistently practicing daily disciplines for at least six months, you'll notice a shift in your mindset. The need to break tasks into smaller pieces will diminish, and you'll view yourself as someone capable of taking on and successfully completing significant projects.
🔄 Contrary thought: Overreliance on discipline can lead to burnout and a lack of passion. If you are constantly pushing yourself, it may indicate the need for a change in direction. Discipline loses its utility when you only think of who you might be one day, rather than making the most of the present moment
I always make an effort to hold opposing ideas in my mind simultaneously. This practice helps me listen to people with differing opinions more effectively and prevents me from trying to persuade others to adopt a particular way of thinking about any given concept. I am going to try to occasionally include a section called “🔄 Contrary thoughts" for some of the ideas I share with you. Let me know if you like this addition by tapping the like ❤️ button at the end of this newsletter.
🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On
We think the most confident person in the room is the one who sounds the most polished and certain. In reality, the most confident person is the one who most readily admits and accepts all their flaws/mistakes. Imagine how secure one must feel to do that.
🎵 Music Tracks I'm Listening To
🎧 You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:
Previously on Pursuit: