#33: There Are Many Paths

#SelfAwareness #SelfCare #Resilience #EmbracingVulnerability #SeekingSupport

Aug 25, 2023

👋 Welcome to this week's Pursuit. My name is Amir, and each week I go over 10 hours of content in pursuit of living a meaningful, fulfilling and balanced life. I'm grateful to share my findings with you and hope I can have a tiny impact on your life. Subscribe now if you haven't already!

This week’s discovery:

🛟 Let Yourself Embrace Help
👩🏼‍🔬 Examining Motivations by Asking the Right Questions
🧑🏼‍🔧 Maintenance is Hard
💭 Imagine How You Want Your Life to Feel
🏋🏼‍♂️ The Problem with Valuing Effort Over Productivity
🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On
🎵 Music I'm Listening To

🛟 Let Yourself Embrace Help

I forget myself over and over again. And I remember myself over and over again. The point isn’t to never forget; it’s to cultivate ways of returning when we stray. The point isn’t to never lose sight of our truth; it’s to create ways of coming back to ourselves when things get fuzzy. I used to believe I was failing every time I forgot who I was or what mattered — every time I waded out into a depression or experienced doubt — every time life felt hard. Now, I know that’s just part of my experience of being human, and isn’t something to desperately try to fix. Instead, I know those are moments I need to tend to myself with care, utilize support, and trust myself to return to my truth when I’m ready. It is such a relief to stop trying to fix and change it all — to instead practice being with it all.
Let people support you. Let yourself need. Let yourself not try to hold it all up on your own. Let your knees wobble in front of others. Let hurt and hope be held. Let your flaws exist out loud. Let yourself fail. Let yourself not know. Let yourself embrace help. Let yourself detach from the notion of needing equaling weakness. Let yourself listen to what may be made easier by no longer trying to do it alone.

📖 8-min

👩🏼‍🔬 Examining Motivations by Asking the Right Questions

If you're looking to examine your motivations and make sure you're not playing games without even realizing it, try asking yourself this question: "If I could never talk about this, would I still do it?" It's a useful tool for identifying what truly drives you, beyond the social signaling and validation we often seek. Another question to consider, courtesy of Seth Godin, is "What would you do if you knew you were going to fail?" This can help you identify what you would do purely for the process, and not just for the outcome. When considering different projects or options, try applying this question to see which ones truly align with your values and passions. Don't let the fear of failure hold you back from pursuing what truly drives you.

🎧 3-min

🧑🏼‍🔧 Maintenance is Hard

The way I see it, all good things come from longevity of effort. Everything good requires upkeep. Whether you have a healthy body, good friends, steady relationships, a warm home, is dependent on sustained intention. It’s threaded through the small things: when you pour the fresh water in and you sweep the dust off the windowsill. And when you slip up you just do it again tomorrow. It’s when you devote time to people and you stay off your phone and you ask them about who they really are. It’s been a revelation to me that these small repeated actions add up to an entire life.

📖 4-min

💭 Imagine How You Want Your Life to Feel

If you're feeling lost or directionless in your career, it could actually mean an abundance of opportunity. Rather than stressing about not having a clear path, take a step back and imagine how you want your life to feel on an average Tuesday afternoon. Picture yourself at 50 and think about what kind of life you want to be living and what emotions you want to be feeling. Acknowledge that there will be multiple paths to get there and focus on creating a life that aligns with your values and brings you joy. Don't get caught up in the pressure of hitting certain milestones or making the "right" decisions. Embrace the uncertainty and take risks, knowing that there are many paths to success and fulfillment.

🎧 3-min

🏋🏼‍♂️ The Problem with Valuing Effort Over Productivity

Did you know that across different cultures, individuals who work hard are seen as more moral and better cooperation partners? This connection between effort and morality is so deep that even the Hadza people in Tanzania, known for their hunter-gatherer lifestyle, value hard work as a quality of good character. However, valuing effort over productivity can lead to a work environment with perverse incentives, where individuals care more about being seen as hard workers than achieving meaningful results. Workism, the idea that your job is not just a source of income but also your identity, can exacerbate this issue and lead to an arms race of hard work. So, while hard work can be meaningful when it serves a purpose, it should not be valued more than purposeful work.

🎧 3-min

🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On

🎵 Music Tracks I'm Listening To

🎧 You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:

Last week, an old friend of mine was in Berlin. We've been friends for 20 years, and though we don't talk often, when we see each other, it's as if we're transported back to our teenage years. In those moments, we're able to shed the layers we've accumulated over time and return to a version of ourselves that feels unburdened and free. It's a feeling that's hard to put into words but is undeniably special. If you have old friends whom you haven't reached out to in a while, consider sending them a message this week and asking what they're doing in their lives.

Previously on Pursuit: