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A weekly collection of ideas on living a meaningful, fulfilling and balanced life.

#30: Shadows of Superpowers

#SuccessCost #EmpoweredParenting #LiveInPresent #RadicalTruth #SuperpowerShadows

Aug 4, 2023

👋 Welcome to this week's Pursuit. My name is Amir, and each week I go over 10 hours of content in pursuit of living a meaningful, fulfilling and balanced life. I'm grateful to share my findings with you and hope I can have a tiny impact on your life. Subscribe now if you haven't already!

This week’s discovery:

🥷🏼 The Hidden Cost of Success
👪 Parenting for Empowerment and Success
🕰️ The Lie We Live
✅ The Power of Radical Honesty
🦹🏼‍♀️ The Shadows of Superpowers
🗒️ A Quote I'm Pondering On
🎵 Music I'm Listening To

🥷🏼 The Hidden Cost of Success

One of the most powerful questions I use before committing to a new project or opportunity is: Do I want the successful version of this? This question can help us think through whether the path we’re on is leading us to a destination we actually want. Because it’s easy to focus on the prestige of “arriving,” but lose sight of what the day-to-day reality of success looks like. We talk about how life is about sacrifice, but most of us only ever think about the price we have to pay to achieve success—not the price we have to pay after we achieve success. Success isn’t a static, isolated state. Success is an ever-evolving, multifaceted, complex interconnectedness of deep existential identity issues, interpersonal dynamics, and constantly reconsidering and renegotiating the balance between “enough” and “more.” Which is why each of us has to decide what success we actually want to achieve. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve dedicated to a specific life/career path. You’re under no obligation to stay on it. It doesn’t matter how big your paycheck is if it costs your soul. It doesn’t matter if everyone around you criticizes your decision, if none of them have a life you’d gladly trade places with. You—and only you—get to decide what success means to you, what success you actually want to achieve, and what success you want to avoid. The longer you stay on a path that isn't yours, the longer it takes to find a path that is.

📖 7-min

👪 Parenting for Empowerment and Success

As parents, it's important to recognize that our job is to empower our children to learn important life skills by teaching them to do things for themselves. We can't do everything for them, but rather explain and guide them through the process of learning. Our children need to learn how to take care of themselves, whether it's asking a question at a store, using public transportation, or making a meal. Instead of fearing that they'll fail, we should delight in the learning process, which will ultimately make them capable of doing it themselves tomorrow. It's also crucial to avoid approaching our children as a project to perfect. As Carl Jung said, the greatest harm to a child is the unlived life of the parent.

🎧 3-min

🕰️ The Lie We Live

Alan Watts on the Illusion of Time:

Animals simply sniff the dead animal to see if it's good to eat and then move on, while humans spend a great deal of time and emotional energy living in a future that is not concrete. This causes chronic anxiety about the future, and humans become like donkeys chasing a carrot on a stick. It is important to live in the present while also being capable of planning for the future. Our culture's obsession with time and the future is causing us to be greedy and unsatisfied, and we should focus on being fully alive in the present moment.

📺 10-min

✅ The Power of Radical Honesty

Children start lying as early as age two, but lying tends to decrease between ages 3 and 14, possibly because they become more aware of how lying harms others. Lying can become a habit that leads to destructive behaviors, shame, and isolation. The concept of the "false self" is a persona constructed in defense against external stressors, which can lead to feelings of emptiness and detachment when our lived experience diverges from our projected image. The antidote to the false self is the authentic self, which can be achieved through radical honesty. This honesty tethers us to our existence, makes us feel real in the world, and lessens the cognitive load required to maintain lies. Honesty enhances awareness, creates more satisfying relationships, holds us accountable to a more authentic narrative, and strengthens our ability to delay gratification.

📺 16-min

🦹🏼‍♀️ The Shadows of Superpowers

As I listened to this podcast, I discovered that my greatest weaknesses often lurk in the blind spots of my strengths. For example, my analytical nature can impede my ability to act in a timely manner without enough evidence, causing me to miss valuable opportunities for growth. I also encourage you to think about the shadows of your superpowers.

If you're looking to advance in your career, it's important to recognize the shadows of your superpowers. Sure, your strengths have gotten you this far, but what got you here won't necessarily get you to the next level. Senior leaders in particular can fall prey to this trap, relying too heavily on their existing strengths and not recognizing their development areas. The key is to listen to contradictory feedback, even if it seems like it goes against everything you've been told about your strengths. Often, what's in the discard pile is actually a reflection of your strengths, but in a way that's no longer serving you. Don't dismiss this feedback as irrelevant or inaccurate; instead, use it as an opportunity to reevaluate your approach and rebuild the tools you need to succeed. Whether you're a senior leader or an individual contributor, recognizing and embracing your development areas is crucial for continued growth and success in your career.

🎧 7-min