#108: “Too late” is often fear in disguise
Know when to observe and when to immerse. Fear disguises itself as “too late.” Love thrives on balancing security and freedom. Dreams evolve—what matters is that we keep dreaming. And more...
👋 Welcome to this week’s Pursuit. My name is Amir, and each week, I go over 10 hours of content about personal growth and mental well-being, bringing you four insights and thought-provoking perspectives from leading thinkers. I hope to have a tiny impact on your life and inspire you with the tools to lead a more fulfilling life.
This week at a glance:
🔄 Knowing when to observe and when to immerse
😨 “Too late” is often fear in disguise
⚖️ Security and freedom: the balance that keeps love alive
🦄 Keep on dreaming
🔄 Knowing when to observe and when to immerse
There are two modes of experience: appreciative, and evaluative. Concrete example: let’s say you’re listening to a piece of music. Are you sinking into it, awash in emotions? You’re in the appreciative mode. Are you the mixing engineer, listening to the snare hits to make sure they’re consistent? You’re in the evaluative mode. Much of sanity, and happiness, consists of finding the right mode for the right moment. The appreciative mode is terrible for debugging your business plan. But the evaluative mode is terrible for having a first date. A lot of capable, intelligent people suffer because they do not have the ability to switch out of the evaluative mode, or even notice that they’re in it.
✨ From Sasha Chapin - 50 Things I Know
😨 “Too late” is often fear in disguise
There have been countless times where I’ve thought it was too late: too late to try, too late to go after what I want, too late to start something new, too late to start over completely, too late to be taking my time, too late to wait for the right opportunity, too late to trust my desires or dreams as possibilities. Yet something I am learning, slowly, is that “too late” is so often just fear in disguise. It’s fear of failing, or not getting there eventually, or not being good enough, or (I could go on). I have been in the practice of asking myself when I notice these “too late” thoughts coming up, What is the fear here? What am I really afraid of right now? How can I tend to that fear instead of tending to the belief that it’s too late?
For the longest time, I told myself it was too late to learn coding. I believed I’d never be good at it, that I was too far behind, that trying would just be a waste of time.
Two months ago, I bought a course on coding with AI and finally started. And now? I built my own meeting transcriber—in less than 30 minutes.
It’s never too late to learn something new. Follow your curiosity. Let it take you somewhere unexpected.
✨ From Lisa Olivera | When the Ache Remains
⚖️ Security and freedom: the balance that keeps love alive
Eastern philosophy’s view of impermanence challenges the Western fixation on stability and permanence, encouraging a mindset that embraces life’s constant changes. This can reshape how we approach relationships, trust, and vulnerability. Recognizing the fiction of stability opens up new possibilities for living with curiosity, flexibility, and vitality.
When it comes to relationships, disagreements or "growing apart" aren't always the problem—how couples manage those differences is what truly matters. If differences are met with curiosity and respect, they can deepen connection. But if they result in conflict or indifference, couples drift apart. This can lead to relationships characterized by either high conflict or emotional disengagement, both of which erode intimacy.
To maintain a strong relationship, it’s vital to nurture both security and freedom, much like a child who feels secure enough to explore the world but always knows they can return to a place of safety. This balance allows couples to thrive, ensuring that both emotional safety and personal growth remain priorities.
Reflect on how much of your relationship is focused on survival versus truly living. Could you benefit from embracing impermanence or reimagining what security looks like in your relationship?
✨ From #199 Esther Perel — Cultivating Desire | The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish
🦄 Keep on dreaming
The important thing isn't to achieve all your dreams, but to keep dreaming. Your desires change as you learn and grow. Old dreams will spawn new dreams. And eventually, one of these newer, more refined visions will find their moment and become reality.
✨ From Out of Curiosity - #101: Chasing Bold Ideas
🎵 Music I’m listening to
You’ll find mostly Ethnotronica, Organic House, World, Disco, and Organic Electronic here:
🎧 If you appreciate the music I carefully select and haven't followed my Spotify playlists yet, now is the perfect time to hit that follow button and join me on this musical journey! 🎶
🌒 Pano: Danceable and electronic obscure songs
🌓 Sisy: Ethnotronica and organic house
🌑 Berghain: Dark, minimal techno and tech house
🌕 Heide: Groovy soul and disco house
🌞 Sonntag: Afterhours shit
🦥 Slow rave: Sleepy techno for tired danced
🌎 World: From Latin jazz to Turkish psych
🌚 Super Slow: For your intimate moments
Previously on Pursuit:
